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I could heal myself. Become whole. Yet, within my soul, I know that that option is not. The flow of self-depreciating sadness moving across each numb nerve with the quiet coldness of ice, numbing my heart to what I have been part of, have seen. As tempting, in its own way, as the power I could open myself to. I choose. There really was not much of a choice, the decision made in an instant. I rein in my mind and flow, not outward as a waterfall, but inward, sinking into the black hole that is the remnant of my heart. Darkness swallows me yet I ignore it, I search. Moving across surfaces that reek of memory and sadness, I begin the long road through a self-made hell. Heat tears at my atoms, Cold sears my neutrons from balance, both fusion and fission work on my mind at once. Barriers. I collapse them, with such effort that my body must be failing by now. My heart must be beating so slowly that a doctor would call me dead, soon I will be if I continue inward. I never hesitate.. She was wearing a tight chudidar. i picked her from the bus stop right away to my room as all my friends were at home for holidays and i was about to go the next day.I left her near the room parked the bike and called her and asked her to follow me as nobody should watch us. we came in the room. my flat was a two room flat having a kitchen and a bed room. as soon as she entered the room i locked the door and asked her to sit. she sat we had a talk for some time she bought me kurta which she gave me. when i was about to change she asked me to change it in front of her. i removed my shirt and when i was about to wear the kurta i can see her watching my body with a lot of lust in her eyes. Later i sat beside her and took her hand in my hand and slowly while talking moved it to my penis and put it just above it. as it was rock hard she suddenly looked in my eyes with lust. i put one of her hand on her right boob from behind and pressed gently she started moaning slowly ah ah ah Me: kiss.
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